Thursday, 27 June 2013

HOW TO BEAT GIDEON

Gideon Osborne aka The Chancellor
Following Gideon Osborne’s £11.5 Billion public spending cuts, Guerrilla Democracy offers its readers five easy steps to beat Gideon.

Gideon Osborne, who at 13-years-old added George to his name as an act of rebellion, has inflicted further damaging austerity measures on to the country.

The people of the UK have been whipped to exhaustion following national riots, protests, terrorist attacks and sporting events, have took the news on the chin, with no protests or argument.

As cuts begin to hurt the British people, it's justice system, education system, health system and welfare system; Guerrilla Democracy has identified five easy ways to escape the clutches of bureaucracy and free you from Gideon’s austerity measures.

Everything Guerrilla Democracy recommends is perfectly legal and above board. Tax evasion is illegal but tax avoidance is encouraged by big business and actively used. 

Don’t be afraid to jump on board and tell your friends.

STEP ONE
Register yourself ‘SELF EMPLOYED’.
Ring HMRC Working Tax hotline on 02890538192, choose option 5 and declare yourself ‘self employed’. Predict £6000 as income for the first year (as an absolute minimum)

STEP TWO
Tear up your UB40. Notify the Job Centre you’re signing off. You will no longer be required to ‘sign on’ ever again.

STEP THREE
Earn at least £20 per week. This is the absolute minimum you must earn to receive the same amount of income as you would get from Job Seekers allowance.

STEP FOUR
Reinvest all your earnings back into yourself. Buy yourself a new car, a new computer, new clothes, new decorations, and new shoes. Put your money in new adventures, your pension and your children’s trust fund. Put your money anywhere and everywhere except into the hands of Gideon.

STEP FIVE
Declare no more than your taxable allowance. Give nothing to Gideon. The only payment which you are legally obliged to make is your national insurance contribution of £2.63 a week.

Five steps to beat Gideon, five easy steps to free you from the bureaucratic folly of nameless civil servants and politicians.

WHO CAN YOU TRUST?

Cry Baby
A source close to Guerrilla Democracy reveals disturbing news about Gideon, ‘Our Chancellor is knowingly servicing a fraudulent national debt, to grease the palms of his masters in the financial sector. Don’t forget this irrefutable fact, banks have been found out on hundreds of occasions. By ‘found out’ I mean, they have been taken to court and found guilty of fraud and ordered to pay damages. It’s common practice for banks to settle out of court to hide their crimes from the glare of publicity.

Remember bankers fraudulently added PPI (Payment protection insurance) onto every loan issued in the UK over the last decade. Of course they claim that PPI was ‘mis-sold,' but really it wasn't, it was fraud.

All the major banks manipulated the LIBOR rate. This resulted in billions if not trillions, being defrauded from the public.

HSBC laundered Mexican drug cartel money.

Three examples of banker’s criminality, which prove they are criminals of the highest order. They pay fines in the millions (Barclays fined £390 million over the Libor rate scandal) to stay out of jail.

Gideon knows our national debt is fraudulent, but doesn't care because spending cuts don’t affect him, he's aristocracy, he's born into it.’

Smug Bastard
FIVE EXTRA STEPS TO FREE YOURSELF FROM GIDEON

STEP SIX
Stop paying the BBC TV licence.

STEP SEVEN
Stop paying off your debts.

STEP EIGHT
Watch this video.

STEP NINE

STEP TEN
Say ‘No, I don’t understand’ when arrested by a Police officer.


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