There is a particular danger when someone else decides to tell your story for you: they may know enough of the facts to make their version sound convincing, while getting enough of the important details wrong to fundamentally distort the story.
That is precisely the issue I have with comments recently made by Tony Quigley, who uses the name Harry Munker on YouTube, in response to Shaun Cassidy threatening to serve me with legal papers over an article I published reporting on an exchange between Cassidy and Kaley Einav on YouTube.
Tony wrote:
“Do it Brother, He deserves no Mercy whatsoever.”
He then proceeded to give his account of my history, making a series of claims about my criminal and military history, my mother, my movements around Europe and the circumstances surrounding my mother's death.
The problem is that several of the supposedly “pertinent facts” in his account are simply wrong.
And when you are telling someone else's story, facts matter.
For the record, I have not received a suspended sentence for breaching a Stalking Prevention Order. That is not a minor distinction when someone is presenting a narrative about my alleged criminal history.
Tony also claimed that I was “kicked out of the army for snuggling marijuana.” Leaving aside the rather unfortunate choice of the word snuggling — I presume he meant smuggling — the circumstances surrounding my departure from the Army are considerably more complicated than the version he presents.
He also states that my mother was living with my sister at the time. She wasn't. She was living in a nursing home.
Then there is the geography. According to Tony, I attempted to flee to Pakistan. I didn't. The country involved was India. He also says that I couldn't get passports in Paris. The issue wasn't obtaining passports; it was obtaining the necessary visas.
These might sound like insignificant details to somebody constructing a story from memory, hearsay or material gathered from elsewhere. They aren't.
Perhaps most importantly, Tony claims that I never completed my Royal Military Police training.
Again, that is simply incorrect.
I completed my Royal Military Police training and passed out as a fully trained RMP. That is an important part of my personal history, particularly when somebody is attempting to construct a narrative about my military career.
Finally, Tony's account of my mother's death is wrong. My mother did not die in a house fire.
When somebody takes a collection of real events from another person's life, mixes them with misunderstandings and inaccuracies, and then presents the resulting story as fact, something rather important happens: the person whose life it actually was disappears from the narrative.
That is the peril of allowing another person to tell your story.
My life is not a fictional character created for somebody else's entertainment. Nor is it a convenient collection of anecdotes that can be rearranged to produce whatever impression somebody wants to create.
There are undoubtedly things in my past that I am not proud of. There are mistakes, controversies, difficult periods and events that can be discussed and criticised. I don't expect everyone to agree with my interpretation of them, and I certainly don't expect anyone to give me a free pass.
But if somebody wants to criticise me, get the facts right.
If you're going to tell the story of somebody else's life, at least take the trouble to establish what actually happened.
Because once inaccurate information is repeated often enough, it can acquire the appearance of truth. One person says it, another repeats it, somebody else quotes the repetition, and eventually the original error becomes “common knowledge”.
That is how reputations can be damaged.
It is also why I object to Tony Quigley's version of my history.
He is entitled to his opinions about me. He is entitled to dislike me. He is entitled to criticise my conduct and challenge things I have said or done.
What he isn't entitled to do, at least intellectually and morally, is rewrite my history and then present the rewritten version as though it were established fact.
This is my story.
I lived it. I know what happened to me, my family and my career.
I don't claim that my version is beyond question, but I do claim the right to correct factual errors when somebody else decides to tell my story for me.
And if Tony Quigley wants to tell my story, perhaps he should start by getting the basic facts right.
Because when you get the pertinent facts wrong, you aren't telling somebody's story.
You're telling your own version of it.
























