Sunday 19 May 2024

When in Doubt, and All Else is Lost: Call the Police on Matt Taylor! That Usually Works!

We've all had those days. The ones where everything goes wrong, and just when you think it can't get any worse, it does. Maybe it's been called out as a loser, called mentally insane, or called a paedophile protector. 

In these moments of chaos, confusion, and sheer desperation, there's one name that always seems to pop up as a solution: Matt Taylor.


"Call the police on Matt Taylor!" It's become a tongue-in-cheek mantra in our crazy corner of YouTube, almost a local legend. But how did this peculiar piece of advice come to be?


The Origins of the Legend…


Matt Taylor is not your ordinary citizen. Known for his uncanny knack for being at the centre of peculiar and sometimes bizarre incidents, Matt has inadvertently become the go-to scapegoat when things spiral out of control. 


It all started a few years back when a series of unusual events took place in our crazy corner of YouTube.


First, there was the incident of the molested house plant. No one could figure out whether it was a joke or how it ended up in the middle of Matt Taylor's front room.


It was Matt Taylor who, out of sheer coincidence, was found stroking the plant's stem, saying “yes baby yes. Grow for me baby”. 


The police were called, Matt was questioned, but the plant remained silent. 


Case closed, but the legend had just begun.


The Making of a Local Hero (or Anti-Hero)...


Over time, Matt Taylor found himself in the midst of more curious happenings. There was the time when another YouTubers phones mysteriously disappeared overnight, only to be found in possession of Matt Taylor. 


He swore he had received the phones in good faith. The police were called, Matt was questioned, but the phones remained in Matt's possession.


Then, there was the great Boys in the Woods Hoax. Three teenage boys accused Matt Taylor of taking them into the woods, showed videos of babies being beheaded, and asked for sex. 


Once again, Matt Taylor was arrested, thrown in a police cell and all his IT equipment and mobile phones seized to be forensically examined. 


The police found no evidence to back up the allegations, no further action was taken, and the teenagers were believed to have been paid £300 by an online satanist, who pretends to be a 12-year-old boy online. 


The pattern was set.


The Troll's Go-To Solution…


Now, whenever frustrations run high, the collective reflex is to threaten, "Call the police on Matt Taylor!" 


It’s a malicious nod to the frivolous string of allegations that seem to follow him around. 


Matt himself has taken it in stride, often laughing along and even donning a T-shirt that reads, "Don't Panic, Just Blame Matt."


Despite the running joke, there's a genuine affection for Matt Taylor in our community. 


He's the kind of person who always steps up, even if it means being wrongly accused first. 


His willingness to help, combined with his incredible knack for stumbling into trouble, has made him a local legend in his own right.


A Lesson in Community and Humour.


The story of Matt Taylor is more than just a series of unfortunate incidents. It's a testament to the power of community and the importance of humour in our lives. 


In a world where it's easy to feel isolated and overwhelmed, the quirky tradition of "blaming Matt" brings us together and reminds us to shift the blame onto someone. (Preferably Matt Taylor!)


So, next time you find yourself in a pickle, remember the wise words of our crazy corner of YouTube: "When in doubt, and all else is lost, call the police on Matt Taylor!" 


It's a reminder that even in the strangest situations, there's always a way to find a smile and a solution, often where you least expect it.


And who knows? Maybe Matt Taylor will eventually be set up for a crime he didn't commit.




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