Every year, hundreds of people risk their lives climbing Mount Everest, the highest mountain on Earth. Every year, governments, climbing companies, and mountain experts wring their hands over the dangers, the deaths, the overcrowding, and the environmental damage.
Build an escalator.
Mount Everest stands at 8,849 metres (29,032 feet) above sea level. It was first successfully climbed on 29 May 1953 by Edmund Hillary and Tenzing Norgay after decades of failed attempts and tragic losses.
Since then, Everest has transformed from the ultimate mountaineering challenge into something resembling the world's highest traffic jam.
More than 7,000 individual climbers have reached the summit, accounting for well over 12,000 successful ascents. In a typical year, between 700 and 1,000 people attempt the climb.
The mountain has also claimed a terrible toll. At least 344 people have died attempting to climb Everest, making it the deadliest mountain in terms of total fatalities.
Yet despite all this, humanity continues to attack the problem using the same basic technology employed by Hillary and Norgay in 1953:
Walking.
We live in an age of artificial intelligence, reusable rockets, self-driving cars, robotic surgery, and billionaires firing themselves into space for a laugh. We can send probes beyond the Solar System, stream cat videos to our watches, and generate Hollywood-quality movies from a laptop.
And yet to reach the top of Everest, we still expect people to stagger uphill for weeks carrying cylinders of oxygen.
Frankly, it is embarrassing.
Consider the numbers. Nepal issued hundreds of climbing permits in recent seasons. In 2025 alone, 468 permits were issued, while hundreds successfully reached the summit.
In 2026, a record 274 climbers reached the summit from the Nepal side in a single day.
If 274 people can stand on top of the mountain in one day, surely an escalator can manage the workload.
Imagine the benefits.
No more frostbite.
No more queues in the Death Zone.
No more arguments over fixed ropes.
No more wealthy accountants from Surrey discovering halfway up that they become breathless when deprived of oxygen.
Instead, visitors would simply purchase an "Everest Express" ticket at Base Camp.
A gentle ride.
A souvenir photograph.
A gift shop at Camp Four.
Perhaps a café halfway up serving cappuccinos and oxygen refills.
Naturally, there would be objections.
Traditionalists would claim that Everest should remain a mountaineering challenge.
These are the same people who once objected to railways because horses were good enough. Others would point out that constructing an 8,849-metre escalator across glaciers, crevasses, icefalls, avalanche zones, and vertical rock faces might present engineering difficulties.
Defeatist nonsense.
Victorian engineers built railways through mountains with little more than tea, moustaches, and determination. Surely modern engineers can manage a moving staircase.
Environmentalists might complain about the visual impact. To which one must ask: have they seen Everest recently?
Chris Thrall had this to say about Everest.
“Would I recommend anyone doing it? No. Absolutely not. Not unless it's your childhood dream. It's just not worth it – climbing over dead bodies to grab a rope that they're hanging on, just to scramble up an icy peak which is covered in trash anyway. No, absolutely not. Save your money and go and do something nice with your family. Treat your old man to a bloody, a week in Ibiza, get him on some pingers and get him on the dance floor.”
The mountain is already festooned with tents, ladders, ropes, oxygen bottles, satellite dishes, weather stations, and enough brightly coloured down jackets to be visible from space.
An escalator would hardly spoil the view. In fact, it could improve safety dramatically.
Current estimates suggest that hundreds of bodies remain on Everest because recovery is so difficult and dangerous. Some have become permanent landmarks for climbers.
An escalator would allow maintenance crews to retrieve casualties, clear rubbish, and perhaps even provide a fast lane for those who suddenly realise they have made a terrible mistake at 8,000 metres.
The economic benefits would be enormous. Imagine the tourism opportunities.
"Everest Family Day Out."
"Senior Citizens Summit Special."
"Children Under Five Climb Free."
"Two Summits for the Price of One."
There could even be a premium lane for influencers who need to reach the top before sunset in order to film a motivational video about overcoming adversity.
Critics will laugh.
They laughed at powered flight.
They laughed at television.
They laughed at the Channel Tunnel.
One day they may laugh at the Everest Escalator. But they'll be laughing all the way to the summit.
The question is not whether humanity can build an escalator to the top of Everest. The question is why, after seventy-three years of trudging uphill, we haven't built one already.
The mountain has waited long enough. It's time to move Everest into the twenty-first century.
One step at a time. Preferably moving.



No comments:
Post a Comment